Jessica will suffer and I will enjoy it.

Today I did the funnest thing! I picked up my wallet and found a condom (don't ask me, it was a birthday joke between friends) at the time I was also making some jell-o. It was cherry, I don't like cherry, I thought it was strawberry. Well, I took the nasty cherry jell-o and poured it into the condom... and then wrote "You want a piece of this big, pink, cock?" and "OW! You bit me!" Lance would say that shit to me... he's not all that attractive in the first place, so it wasn't helping him. On Monday, I plan on taking it to school with me and putting it on his windshield. Is that funny or what?

Well, I'm out of school today, and Prom sucked, and Lance is a dumbass!

So one day maybe Hal and I will be able to go out on a date. We're aiming for Saturday, but I doubt it'll really happen, with our schedules, him always being busy, and me always free... it'll be one of those things that fall through the cracks. I really want to try, ya' know, just try!

Well, Jessica crossed my last line, a line she shouldn't have gotten anywhere near. How dare she tell me I never loved Travis, and how dare she say that he never loved me. Oh, and to add to it, she had the audacity to tell me that 'atleast I had a real relationship, all you did was talk on the computer!' I'M SORRY, I COULDN'T GO SEE TRAVIS EVERY WEEKEND IN MISSOURI, UNLIKE YOU, MY BOYFRIEND LIVED 460 MILES AWAY FOR 95% OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND WE ACUTALLY TALKED TO EACHOTHER, SOMETHING MORE THAN "HOW'S YOUR TRUCK RUNNING?"

So I had a dream last night that Travis was back in town and it was like we never broke up. He was all over me, and let me just say that... I loved the attention. Right in the middle of me getting his shirt off he gets a phone call, so I answer it, his sister-in-law asks, "Are you with Brittany?" and he blurts out, "Yeah..." and she says "Use Protection, 'cause you don't want to end up like this." It's funny to me because his sister-in-law's pregnant.
I keep thinking, so long as we can fight, we still have feelings for eachother, we still have passion for one another. But the longer this goes on the closer I come to realize that, it's really over, we're not getting back together, and the moments we will have together will be very few and very far between. I know he's right, I know that we weren't together long enough, that we didn't have a chance, that the time we would have to spend alone wouldn't be enough to keep our relationship alive, let alone grow.
I've read so many fairy tales, I just wanted one for myself. A few years back I read a book that started out with a breakup, this girl lived in Ireland and her boyfriend lived in London, they got to see eachother once every three months for a few hours at a time. Well, she went to the coffee shop to tell him she couldn't do it anymore. He said that he understood, but that they still weren't breaking up. Something had to change, but not that they were together. He went to the plane station to fly back to London and quit his job but he never got on the plane, the boat he took to the airport capsized. The night before he died he proposed to this girl and they thought they were going to be together forever. She spent the next few years trying to get over him, she ended up marrying another guy who also died young and sixteen years later she found out her daughter was really her first boyfriends daughter as well. It was a great book, I loved it. Now I'm scared Travis will come back to town, we'll have sex, I'll get pregnant and he'll go to Iraq... and possibly die...oh shit.